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i would quickly like to preface this with a coupld of small notes. 1) im listening to country music. depressing, slit-you-wrists-to kind of music and 2) I know i have sworn on here before. But that was only once for twice. and i feel that (at least once) it was in context.
therefore, i have replaced a certain word in this section. i feel it is a seamless replace and that you wont be able to figure out what the original word was, or indeed notice the new word at all.
now, onto my blogging.

duck it. duck it all. duck it all to ducking hell.
i mean, seriously, there are THREE ducking DAYS until the holidays start, and you tell us NOW that the dates have changed and we're needed Thursday-Sunday instead of Monday-Thursday??
seriously. DUCK IT.
do you realise what me knowing this at the ducking beginning would have ducking meant????
it would have meant i could have swapped the shift i have to work the Sunday before, with a different Sunday. and do you know what that would have ducking meant??
that i could go on ducking holiday with my ducking family, instead of staying in ducking ballarat and moving from house to ducking house for a ducking week, just to enable me to go to those ducking things.
why would i do that instead of ducking going with them in the ducking first place? because im ducking dedicated. when i say i'll ducking do something im ducking passionate about, i ducking do it, and i do it ducking properly.
in telling my family this news, one of my parents reactions was, well see what flights are available, and maybe we can fly you out and get your sunday changed and you can spend some time with us and it will be a lovely family holiday and everyone will have fun ...............
The others? "you'll just have to twiddle your thumbs around here"
im sorry, what???
at least ducking PRETEND your ducking upset that if we had known this i could have DUCKING COME WITH YOU ALL. In saying that, it makes you sound like you're glad im ducking staying here. i know this is not the case, you're parents love you and all that shit, and i realise i wouldn't have been able to ducking come out at this late stage, but all im saying is, if you'd ducking PRETENDED maybe i wouldn't have such violent thoughts, and the phrase 'i'll invite people around and get ducked just be-ducking-cause.' going through my head. nothing will come of these thoughts. but they are ducking there.
and they're making me say duck a lot.

DUCKING HELL.

if you haven't figured out that im pissed off. you're a ducking idiot. get the duck away from me.

also. remember how i mentioned the whole 'if im passionate about something ill ducking do it properly?' sometimes this requires some ducking co-operation from other ducking people. the reason you're SUPPOSED to be at these ducking things is to ducking LEARN the ducking thing so you know it inside and out and can quote it almost as well as i can. so ducking stay in the ducking room and ducking learn it, okay? and to do this, it helps if you ducking SHOW THE DUCK UP. and if you can't, tell ME, alright, not someone who can pass the ducking message on to me, TELL ME. and ducking tell me as soon as you ducking know. also, grow the duck up, and if you have something you want to ducking say about me, say it to my ducking face. don't ducking bitch about me, and have me find out through other ducking people. and you know what, if you're going to act like whiny little baby and cry to some kids about what ive done or said, or what you think i don't have power/ability/ducking guts to do, get the duck OUT OF HERE. i don't want you if you're going to act like that. i also dont want you if you're going to lie to me, or put on some ridiculous act just to try and get sympathy off me. harden up. ive had what you've got, i know what its like, and if id volunteered for something like thiswhen i had it, i'd ducking show up.

and you know what? it's only going to get ducking worse from here on in. believe it or not, so far ive been nice. keep shitting me off, and this will change. I have no problem ducking yelling at people. ask around, i used to do it often and realy rather ducking well. and i can be mean. dear god can i be MEAN.

why do I not say these things to peoples faces you may ask? why am i so hypocritical and whiny?

becuase i am a good girl.

and good girls don't cause waves. but i can. and i will if i need to.

consider yourselves warned.