There's A Hole In My Bucket.

Nothing really to report on. Just felt like checking in. Have some disjointed chains of thought, all very egotistical ones, just a heads up =) :
I do like my current life, although I do miss my old one.
I wish I had more time to read.
I wonder when it will start to feel like I'm doing something with my life.
Christmas is wonderful.
Theatre restaurant has been a highlight of my week.
Function work is fun.

How to tame lions

Feeling like I have no purpose in life... Need a job, but everything's filled because I didn't think I'd even get the summer, need an idea of how to fill up this much time or something, anything.

The idea of being reduced to a number in a week petrifies me too much to put into words.

Everything feels like it's ending, but the start of the next chapter of our lives is too far away. The interim would appear to be dull. :/ So negative, I know.


I, I, I.

Sigh.

Dancing Juice

Of the last 39 hours, 23 and 1/2 of them have been spent at work. 23 of those have been billable. Tired? Check. Extreamly contented? Double check.

Most People

Respond in a wonderfully positive way when you offer them free teatowels for a good cause =)

C A L L I N G You.

I feel that Kurts character has been developed in an acceptable way. Totally saw the end of Furt coming, but that does not mean I don't approve.

Brownies are the bomb even if you don't use Nuttalex.

Heroes are great and hopefully some will appear at Supanova and hopefully I shall be able to attend with some of my posse. Any takers? April here I come =p

Aqua should release a new album in a similar style of their three newest songs. Back To The 80's peepsels?

Just Because

You say it,
Doesn't mean you
Mean it.

Well...

This day certainly didn't turn out quite the way I expected it to. I'm not sating it wasn't a mice day, but t'was certainly interesting.




<3



And congrats to all of you who have finished your exams. I hope you first steps into the crazy mixed up grown up world are ad marvelous as you expected them to be.

Robot Sheep

Okay, so usually I don't like being one of the facebookers who floods peoples home screens with declerations of glee love, but this isn't facebook and I want to blog about it.
First things first, yes the glee version of Teenage Dream is already on my pod, and yes I'm listening to it right now.
On to the episode. The scene with Kurt and Blaine running down the hallway, whilst incredibly adorable, looks so uncomfortable! Rachel pointing and yelling 'Spies' is a moment I find incredibly humrous. Makes me smile.
When I watched this on tv, I was watching it with my mum and sister, and we missed the first 15 minutes or so, also my attention kept wavering from the television to Kate's maths work. Once I'd settled down for the night I decided to watch the beginning online, and while doing that I figured I may as well watch the scene with Kurt, Blaine and his friends at the table because I somehow pnly caught ghe beginning of yhat scene. If you saw the show you know the one I'm talking about (side note, while at school they have lattes in those takeaway cups. Wish my school had had that. Even though I've only recently started drinking coffee, but whatever). And I think it was a good scene. Made me feel for Kurt again. I've never had anyone treat me particularly badly because of who I am, and just the thought of anyone being persecuted for things they can't change breaks my heart. I do like that Kurt now has someone who knows what he's going through to call up when he needs, although I am a little disappointed with Will's handling of the bullying. Something as blaringly obvious as that and he doesn't do anything. Yes I realise this is fiction, but that particular lack of action isn't really setting a great example.
I totally want to see the Dalton Academy Warblers star in their own spin off. A group of hot guys who love to sing and have a zero-tolerance for discrimination? I'd watch that. And it's a high school, so there would still be plenty of drama to keep it interesting.

Girl crush two

My turn!
Yes, it's lame. But she's so, so prettyful. Irreconcilable with distaste for indie things...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nx1OeqtLyws
1:29 and lol.

"Fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave"

Discuss.

I Had Forgotten

How horribly bad and yet wonderfully good the Labyrnith is =D

And so much fanservice. Seriously, those pants? and the one scene where Hoggle is on his knees in front of the King begging for forgiveness?

It's all magic =)

It's Disconcerting When

Your mothers advice is to not go to school.

Scott Spark (:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HR5eRVw2iBQ
This feels about right
I do like the boots (:

I Miss

My bakery girls =(

Currently Hearting

Matthew Reilly
Jack West Jr
The Goblin King
The Sunshine
New Toys
Having The Weekend Completely Free =)

Necessary

We damn well need some more postings, bloggers. I'm a bit tired of checking without anything new! I need other people to do exciting things and write about them so I can live vicariously through their interestingness. I guess with this swotvac thing the amount of action on here is hardly likely to increase. Hey, here's to hoping.

Anyhooo.
http://pika-la-cynique.deviantart.com/gallery/#Girls-Next-Door
Labyrinth/Phantom of the opera crossover. I may have told some of you about this multiple times :D

On that note, anyone else excited about Love Never Dies?

Green Pineapples

Well, lots of action going on around here...

Right Now I:

• Have a throbbing headache
• Should be doing homework
• Want to scream
• Am sick of teenage girls - actually, just people in general:

1. not thinking about what repercussions their actions/words have
2. being two faced, bitchy and backstabby
3. knowing the hurt their words/actions may cause and going ahead with it anyway

• Kind of want/need to be sick
• Want a friend
• Want to be somewhere far, far away and happy.
• Don't care if you think you're mature. I don't care if you think it's okay because you're just bitching to a friend (generally a mutual one) and the person will never hear it. I don't care if you think that it's okay for you to do it and that somehow becuase it's you it's 'different'. I just don't care. Saying horrible things as a 'joke' or because 'it's true!' does not make it okay. It does not make you a good person. It just drags humanity as a whole further down into the hell we're creating.

Frustration

Sitting, waiting for a phone call. I don't think that it will ever come, to be honest.

At least I had a lovely conversation with a friend's mum :S

Honestly, I do think that Italian is no reason to be out of the house when I come a'ringing.



Grrrrrr.

Plastic soul

Desire to waste time mindlessly surfing the internet is proportional to the amount of work that needs to get done.

Not that a teenager needs to be told things about the 'net, pffft.

Hang in there, 2 days and counting....




I love that when I go to tag this with holidays "naked hide and seek" pops up (:

Girl Crush

I am currently totally Girl Crushing on Kristen Bell at the moment. I think she's gorgeous and plan to go and see movies with her in them. Particularly one called 'Burlesque' coming out on December 26th this year.

Anyone wanna come with? =p

So,

1 and a half days at Uni a week? Yeah, I think I should be able to cope with that.
Here's hoping I get some more work soon though...

Well,

you're starting to make some sense. Keep working at it =)

Dear Life,

When you finally figure out what you want from me, let me know, K? You've kinda left me hangin here.

Emma.

Not Now.

Just, not now.

Teacup

Not too long until the summer holidays (: Should probably focus on something a little closer, but hey, that is pretty exciting!

Hope you're all going well, seems I haven't spoken to anyone about anything at all meaningful recently. That's a litle sad. Also, I'd say this blog needs posts about things. Or text me about nothing. Either way, would be good.

I had a tea party the other day, made my life (: That and stripey socks. Can't wait until it's warm enough to have a proper picnic again. With teacups, of course.

And A

radly awesome car at that. She drives well, and she's a tiny little bubble car =)

Make that

work five days in a row, a passed Hazard Perception Test and a car =)

This week

Work four days in a row, followed by a hazard perception test on monday.
Shall let you all know how I go =)

Oversimplification or genius?

Taken from www.joeydevilla.com/tag/happiness/ (ie: Google images)

I have in my itunes library (or whatever this is supposed to say)

Free Bird by Lynard Skynard.
Unnecessarily long song, I don't think so.

I Have In My Itunes Library...

The Noddy theme song.
Jealous?

I Have In My Itunes Library

A country version of the Beyonce song 'Irreplaceable'.
Yes, I know how awesome I am =)

I dislike accidentally stumbling across spoilers.

Arr

Piratey!

Warning: Whinge Alert

These days, all facebook seems to do is remind me about what I'm missing out on.

And the the things that I can't fix.

Slightly Melancholy

A series of possibly unconnected thoughts:

• My high lasted for three days before I crashed this time. 7.30 feels like midnight.
• I am a confidant person. I know this, and when it shows in how I dress, your laughter or negative attitudes toward me don't diminish the fact that I know I am a human being, and I know that I am worth it.
• Why do I always seem to fall in love with the fictional character they write out of the show somehow? Killing them with a cold, throwing them in the loony bin...
• When you're used to wearing a particular piece of jewellery and this piece is removed for a time of more than a few hours, it's a disconcerting feeling.
• Realising that I can get on well with people in one-on-one situations when I don't usually see them outside a group setting is a nice feeling.
• I don't react well when you point a video camera at me and ask me to say something impressive sounding. I sound rather like a fool. But I'm okay with this.
• I find it strange how I've made the high school/real word split a year earlier than anyone else I know. I'm supposed to be going through this with people I've known for years, who are all in the sameish boat as me. Not wondering if the same people are enjoying whole school assembly.
• Having said that, the way I feel about my life now, is the way I felt at the beginning of recess after a good MIS class walking along the gravel path alone on my way to the cleaver wing. When the sun was shining just the right amount, just starting to gain it's power for the day. When I was learning about things I enjoyed, and I had good company and good conversation to look forward to. In those moment, life always seemed pretty darn perfect, and whilst my current life isn't quite as blissful as those moments, it's pretty wonderful.
• Even though I'm enjoying this life, I miss my old one. I miss you guys. I miss being able to look at how you were walking or listen to the way you were speaking and know that at that moment you were enjoying life, or looking forward to something, or that you needed a bit of a shoulder to lean on. I'm not saying I was always that shoulder, or that I knew every time you needed something or someone, but I miss not having the chance to know. I don't like having to get second hand information about how you are. I don't like only getting snippets of what I'm missing out on. I don't like not being able to look after you. I don't like not being able to be there for you. Even if that makes me sound much to motherly for a 17 year old, or if you think I'm being silly thinking like this or if you like it better now I'm not there to interfere first hand, it's the truth. People go on about how you have more than one family in life, and that the more you live the more it grows. You guys were my Grammar family. If I quote the study planner more than that, you have my permission to slander me all you like for 48 hours, but it's true. We were our own little community. Sure, we fluctuated in size a fair bit, we had (and probably still have) other Grammar families to the one I'm referring to, but we were there. I felt like I belonged. I felt like I could make a difference being there. And I feel like I did. That last sentence may be coming from a strong desire to think that I did, rather than actually doing anything, but your parents have told me how shocked some of you were by my whole 'Oh, by the way guys, I quit high school' thing, and to be honest, when I'm in moods like this, I wonder how the hell I can cope. I don't have a seemingly endless supply of people I can turn to for an embrace or a stimulating conversation. I don't have a group of people I can hang out with who know a heck of a lot of my flaws and who love me, not necessarily in spite of them, but because of them. People who know who I am, and who know that I love them for the person they are and that they don't need to purposely change anything about themselves because they are amazing and wonderful people. People who can read this and know that sure, I'm over tired, and that sure according to my body clock I'm writing this at something like one in the morning, and then consequently I'm rambling like an over-emotional drunk, but at the same time, a part of them knows that I mean
• every
• last
• word

Cannibals.

I have rekindled my love of Savage Garden.
Just thought I'd let you all know =D

Bob Dylan

Anybody else think it's time the pictures changed? I sure do... =D

Supanova

We need to get tickets. Really soon.
I for one, do not want to miss out.
Do people still want to go?

Just so everyone is up to speed

the latest regressinal fandom I am immersing myself in is power ranger.
Both the original (English) season (Mighty Morphin' all the way!!!) and the 17th and possibly last (English) season, Power Rangers RPM.

Why yes, yes I am in the middle of downloading both of these season.

And yes, yes I have explored the seconds fanfiction. And yes, yes I have read Power Rangers slash.

Life is quite contentable at the moment.

Space Monkey out.

Fuck You.

Tony Abbott is a bastard.

Save the planet, one lightglobe at a time.

I want to have an Earth Hour party.

YahooAnswers Fail is the best

http://nfxu.com/c0

So Today I:

• Made pancakes
• Drove a car
• Drove a motor bike
• Almost threw myself off a motorbike
• Twice
• Got petrol
• Made fried rice
• Got ready to go out
• Went out
• Partied to Cotton Eyed Joe
• Ran into someone I knew on the street at 11.30 pm
• Went home
• Blogged =)

North Korea, I'd love to live there.

Via: Online Schools

Green Bumblebees

Wants to keep commitments she made, but is shattered and unsure of how much she actually wants to go.

Tiny.

From little things, big things grow.

Confirmation.

It has been confirmed. The Ballarat Grammar boat race support crew 'wicckity whack' is wearing black arm bands tomorrow as a sign of respect and rememberance of such a remarkable man.
Rest in Peace Rob Olston.

It Saddens Me.

Today, Mr Olston passed away. I found out from a friend, who found out from another friend. So i am unsure as to whether this is completely true. I really hope not. Mr Olston was a fantastic man, who didnt deserve what happened to him. I still remember meeting him when I was 7 years old. And ever since then he has been such a wonderful part of the Grammar community. As my mum said; he is and always will be Grammar. It deeply saddens me to hear of such news. Thought i'd let everyone else know of what we have lost.

Realisations.

I have recently realised that I actually enjoy Uni homework and that learning via SBS documentaries is actually something I like doing from time to time. Fun fact of the day: Neanderthals have been accused of cannibalism, possibly to the extent of breaking bones open to get to the marrow. Note, this isn't proven, just speculation. Interesting watching.

Another thing I've also realised, and the main prompting for this post, is how much I actually miss Myanmar. Going over the photos, and having been asked to write a paragraph on the trip, for me, just made me wanted to go back. Something that I am considering doing. We shall see.

Tadpoles

So. I've quit hight school. Am a high school dropout now.
And i'm happy i made the descision.
doess't stop me thinking about the things im going to miss out on, or that its not gonna take me a while to get used to the fact that im not going to see the same group of people five days a week, or to the fact that i didn't think it would take so long for me to feel like i don't belong at high school anymore.
will continue these thoughts eventually; for now I must sleep, and as the blog has been neglected for a couple of week, i figured i had best feed it something.

Love.

Happy Valentines Day everyone!
For us who dont have a 'special someone', we have each other.
Have a splendid day xxx

Remember When Mrs. O'shea was the deputy head?

Yeah, those were the days...

Birds Do It, Bees Do It, Even Educated Fleas Do It

And apparently, so do penguins.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8081829.s

Penguins are my new favorite animals.

LAUREN'S ALMOST IN AUSTRALIA!!!!

Only ten hours until she's in the same country as us!!! The same STATE even!!!
I just facebook chatted with her. From Melbourne. While she was in Singapore airport.
The Internet does serve a nifty purpose every now and again.

Lions and Tigers and Bears Oh My!!!

Oh, And If Anyone's Wondering

I found that sense of community.
Aided by the site allowing me to log on finally.
But it's there and it's smiling at the world =)

Also, as an after thought, I've been at the bakery over a year now, and haven't come out to anyone there. Not coz I'm trying to keep secret, I'm just not sure how to chuck that into conversation. I quite want to though. Hmm.

Beach Partayed It Up

In Melbourne tonight. Anyone who's wondering, yes, yes I did go to the Minus18 Beach Party that I wanted to go to. Katie came with. We met nice people, we danced, we listened to people play guitar, we danced some more. Basically, I had a fantastic night.
Fingers crossed I'll be able to go to the next dance event. And No Way In Hell am I missing Pride March on Feb 7th - everyone's welcome, Lauren doesn't get invited to be there, she is demanded to be there.
I feel good.

Thinking of a title that doesn't sound whiny or emo or just depressing is much to hard. Therefore: Butterflies!!!!

Warning: Ramblings ahead. Some may be incoherent.
So I'm this group on facebook. Minus18.
http://www.facebook.com/groups.php?id=746805559#/group.php?gid=62569954370
If any one's wondering. It " provide[s] a safe space for the same sex attracted youth of Melbourne [and surrounding areas] to meet new people and have fun, whilst also providing a safe way for them to explore the gay 'scene' in a drug and alcohol free environment.
They sent me an invitation on facebook advertising their next dance party, which led to me going to their website to check it out, which led to me showing mum a poster for said party when she wandered into the room, which led to a comment, that I'm sure was meant in no negative way, about how a friend 'might not go to a gay thing' Now, that's slightly paraphrased, she didn't say thing, but I'm pretty sure she didn't say party either, she may have said group.
Anyway, a couple of hours, various websites and a couple of online surveys later and here I am. Wanting to attend a couple of the events listed at their website, the dance party: http://www.minus18.org.au/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=327 next Saturday
and also 2010 Pride March:
http://www.facebook.com/#/event.php?eid=279009845742 Feb 7th.
The moral of this story being I have no one to go with. At least, not to the party. Lauren's totally getting invited to the March as soon as she sets foot in this country again, but when I think about it, she's really the only one ive spoken to extensively about 'all this', in fact, other then the basic, 'oh, just so's you all know, girls is hot too' with the general friendship group, she's really the only one i've spoken to about it at all. Basically what I'm saying is, with her out of the country, I feel like I have no one to talk to about this stuff. My mum tries, told my a story about a friend who had a lesbian sister, and it wasn't fair coz the friend wasn't allowed boys over, but her sister could have girls over coz her parent's didn't know, when i first came out to her in Melbourne. I'm assuming dad knows, but he and I have never spoken about it, and I don't know any girls who are attracted to girls. And I guess I'm wary of breaching the topic with some friends at a more in depth level as I don't know how they'll react, or am afraid of what they'll say if it's one on one. And you guys know me, i thrive on conversation, talking and listening and story swapping, and I need community. I need community in this area. But I don't know how to go about it. I'm also hesitant to bring it up at school/with peers because I don't want to be seen as, i don't know, as though that's all I talk about, or like I'm self centered and want all conversation to lead back to me. I just want to be able to shout about who I am if I want to. I want school to have more resources and more teachings about relationships other than male/female ones. We do have some, but not many. I want the courage to talk about the possibility of starting a support group of some kind for students who are gay, lesbian, bi, pan, omni, queer, intersex, transgender, questioning or just want more information, of tackling homophobia in our school. It may not always be in the form of physical violence, but it is there.
I don't often feel disjointed or out of line with other people i know, it comes and goes.

Baby II

Who's up for a second try at New Years? My first one was boring!!!