New Post. New Picture. Nerd Patrol.
So, I know it's been a while since I really had much of a blog. Well, at least not one as powerful as our young Emma's. So, I'm sorry everyone. I just tend to find that I'm not as interesting as some people. That is, I'm not interesting at all.
So yes, I'm sorry.
Want to know the most exciting thing to happen to me lately? I gave my number to a bloke. Yup, a real life bloke.
Unfortunately this was just an I'll-text-you-if-I'm-bored' bloke, the whole 'just friends' deal again (if you're a huge Jenna blog fan then you will have read a previous blog relating to being 'just friends).
I have to apologise once more and warn you that this is a 'sick of my loneliness' post.
I realise that in Emma's last post 'My room is a mess' she mentioned something along the lines of not needing someone else in one's like to validate it, however I have to take a slight issue with that statement: in my opinion, the meaning of life is love. We are born to experience love - love from our friends, our family and, hopefully, our partners. At this age and stage in life I have experienced two of these three loves. It does seem a little greedy to be complaining about the lack of the love in a partnership, unfortunately I'm a teenage girl and this is how I was made.
Only recently was I reassured that I wasn't 'doomed to die alone'.
I know.
Of course I won't be alone.
I have never truly been alone.
I have only ever felt truly alone.
And at the moment I don't feel alone. I don't expect I will feel alone while I still have the loving friends and family I have right now. What I feel is undesired.
And now I feel vulnerable.
I have never had a real relationship, this is, indeed, quite reasonable as I'm only 16 years old. However, if I had the choice I would choose to be in a relationship right now.
And I don’t just mean any old relationship with any old bloke. I mean this one specific bloke. Regrettably, not the bloke who I shared numbers with.
A bloke who I spend barely any time with. A bloke who fits my ‘list’ (if you’re a girl, you’ll know the list I’m talking about) perfectly. A bloke who, while is so available, is so inaccessible.
My mind doesn’t work when I’m around him. It’s hard to notice, I think I cover my discomfort quite well, but it’s most certainly there. My mind goes about a million miles an hour and if I end up thinking of anything at all witty to say it comes out muddled and illogical. It seems that, if we ever get around someone where there is the potential for an actually good relationship, our brains begin to work against us. Last year, when I was quite close with this particular gentleman I found the exchange of dialogue fairly simple, mainly because I spent the majority of the time laughing, but also because I hadn’t yet noticed how perfect he was.
When I say perfect I don’t mean faultless, I mean perfect for me.
Perfect for me...
???
How do I know what ‘perfect for me’ is?
I don’t.
Oh goodness gracious me, whatever shall I do to prepare myself for my next encounter with him.
Thoughts, feelings, suggestions? No. I don’t have any either.
Why is this so difficult?
Sorry for the lame blog post. Perhaps I’ll find another hiiilarious video to show you all.
Au revoir mes amis!
Also, 613 words. Why am I telling you this? Because it's what all the cool kids are doing these days.
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I find you plenty interesting
ReplyDeleteIf you weren't, why would I hang with you? It’s not like our personalities match at all!!! =p
I did indeed mention something along those lines. For those of you too damn lazy to read that giant post below Jenna’s much more reasonable one, it said "that you don't need someone else to validate your existence"
Humorously enough, I agree completely and wholeheartedly with Jenna about life being about love.
Please, it’s never greedy to be complaining about a lack of love. These things need to be said sometimes.
I desperately want to ask who this bloke is. But I won’t. 1 because why would you reply here? And 2. Well, and 2.
Thoughts - guys are bizarre creatures. And I am most certainly not the person to be giving relationship advice, im still coming to terms with who im willing to be in a relationship with.
Feelings? *in singsong little child voice* Jenna has a cru-ush! And I think that’s pretty freaking awesome. Inaccessible though he may be.
Suggestions? See above mentioned bad advice = me stuffs.
Why is it so difficult? Because its life. And if it wasn't we wouldn't enjoy it as much. Etc etc fill in the clichés here.
I like your blog posts. A lot.
They give me a slight insight into the world of Jenna. More so than bus man =p
234 words.
That was one long post!
ReplyDeleteOr was it? I'm not a blogger, so I don't know.
I can understand what you feel about love, as even though family and friends and cats and everyone else can love you, it isn't always enough. Like when you see something and think, I really wish that somebody was here now to see it with me... It's a bit sad. But yes, we are teenage girls. That comment is so very true ;)
I don't think that it's greedy at all to want all three - the whole point of our existence, according to biology and all that, is to find somebody else.
Why thank you young ladies, it seems that my complaints are more acceptable than I first though. C= Thank you both for your input.
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