Lying on my bed writing this on mum's laptop

I suposse you're all wondering how things turned out between me and that guy. Actually, i bet you're not. As you probably dont know me, and even if you just came across my blog a moment ago, you could probably care less what happens in my pathetic excuse for a life. But I shall post here what happen anyway, as i need to get it out of my head, and as i dont really want to talk about it with any of my friends, i figure ill post it here. I don't care if thats not logical. So I emailed the guy. and this is what the part of the email talking about how i feel for him said:

"There's something i want to tell you. And probably should have told you a long time ago. But, I haven't becuase i didn't want to freak you out or ruin our friendship.
or something equally as bad. Anyway, u get my point. I didnt want to tell you in case i screwed things up. Coz generally i am very good at doing that.
I like you. As you know. But i like you as more than a friend. But as i dont really think you feel the same, all i've suceeded in doing is embarasing myself. But at least i've told you. But the thing is i dont want things to change between us. Just write back to me please, and tell me what you think ? And i thought it was best that i told you.'

So i was kind of on edge all day at school. wondering if he'd checked his emails every few seconds. And wondering (more importantly) how he reacted.
So finally the day ended and i could go home and check my email. And there were exactly zero unread email messages in my inbox. So either a) he hadn't checked his emails since late last night or b) he'd read it, freaked out, and run as fast as he could away from the computer screaming. I was leaning toawrds b to be entiarly honest.
Anyway. So then i went and did stuff (including making christmas cards) and then i saw that my friend J was on msn, so i went online (i was set to appear offline) but before i could start talking to her, someone else started talking to me. And it was him.
He was just like, 'hey, im glad i caught you. i haven't had time to reply to you email' And im just sitting there thinking fffffffffuuuuuucccccccckkkkkkk. And J's saying things such as 'what's he saying? has he said anything about the email' and i just said 'not much. just that he hasn't had time to reply' or something as equally intelligent as that. And pretty much all he said about the email was that, he got it, and it meant alot to him that id said it, and then he said something about having the guts to say it, but i was kind of zoned out at this point in time.
But the thing is. He never said anything like 'i dont feel the same' or 'i only like you as a friend'r even 'i think we should just stay friends' all he said was 'it means alot that you said that'. But i mean, does anyone else think that's odd? But maybe that's just he holding onto the last grain of hope on this otherwise empty beach.
But the thing is. Even though technically i should feel like absolute crap. I don't. And even though every last remaining drop of hope should have been squeezed out from my unloved heart. There is still hope. (note: corny, hopeless, teenage girl in love type phrases coming up. run while you still can)
Still hope that one day, he'll feel like i do
that one day, he'll tell me what i told him
that one day, i'll be the only girl he needs
that one day, he'll want to be 'safe in my arms'
that one day, he'll just want to be with me
and i'm probably wasting my time thinking all this
hell, i'm definaly wasting my time thinking all this. but i can't help it. i almost wish he had that he just wants to be friends, and that he doesn't like me in that way. but becuase he didn't. there's still hope.
and i know that if he did feel any of the things i felt. he probably would have said so. and we'd ride off into the sunset together or something just as corney. but even so that's probably the case. i can't help hoping
that one day. he'll love me, the way i love him.
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you broke my heart, you heard my scream, you watched me crumble and fall